Are you a Facebook user? If so, might you consider becoming a fan of Christian's? It's a daily obsession for us.
Here's the link.
~Kambri
Friday, February 20, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
QUERY: ARE YOU AN AVID HIGH-FIVER? AND A DUDE?
Hello, e-persons.
As you may recall, a couple of weeks ago I posed a question, namely:
"WANT TO BE IN MY UPCOMING COMEDY DVD?"
Well, I'm back, looking for one more person to participate in this sure-to-be-snazzy little project.
To recap, I recently taped a one-hour comedy special to be aired on Comedy Central and sold in real stores for actual cash money. On Sunday February 8th I'll be shooting a few DVD extras that will also function as web advertisements for said DVD and I'm looking for some help from you, the mighty Internet Friendbase.
Think you might like to participate? Ask yourself the following questions:
* Am I a dude?
* Have I been known to deliver an occasional high-five at sporting events, happy hours or other social gatherings?
* Am I a 'guy's guy'? (In other words, am I not like Christian Finnegan)?
* Do I live in or around NYC?
* Am I free the afternoon of Sunday, February 8th?
If you answered 'YES' to all of these questions, I'd love to hear from you ASAP! Basically, I'm just looking for a regular guy who can deliver a functional high-five without looking like a massive pussy. Is that you?
If you think you'd be up for this, please get in touch with me as soon as possible. I can be reached here on Facebook or at cf@christianfinnegan.com. A few more relevant details:
* This will be shot in midtown Manhattan, the afternoon of Sunday 2/8
* This will require no preparation from you
* This will take about an hour of your time (90 minutes tops!)
* Your name will be listed in the credits and thanked in the DVD liner notes
* You will not be made to look like an ass
So what say you? Again, I can be reached at cf@christianfinnegan.com.
Let a brutha know.
Regards,
Christian Finnegan
Hello, e-persons.
As you may recall, a couple of weeks ago I posed a question, namely:
"WANT TO BE IN MY UPCOMING COMEDY DVD?"
Well, I'm back, looking for one more person to participate in this sure-to-be-snazzy little project.
To recap, I recently taped a one-hour comedy special to be aired on Comedy Central and sold in real stores for actual cash money. On Sunday February 8th I'll be shooting a few DVD extras that will also function as web advertisements for said DVD and I'm looking for some help from you, the mighty Internet Friendbase.
Think you might like to participate? Ask yourself the following questions:
* Am I a dude?
* Have I been known to deliver an occasional high-five at sporting events, happy hours or other social gatherings?
* Am I a 'guy's guy'? (In other words, am I not like Christian Finnegan)?
* Do I live in or around NYC?
* Am I free the afternoon of Sunday, February 8th?
If you answered 'YES' to all of these questions, I'd love to hear from you ASAP! Basically, I'm just looking for a regular guy who can deliver a functional high-five without looking like a massive pussy. Is that you?
If you think you'd be up for this, please get in touch with me as soon as possible. I can be reached here on Facebook or at cf@christianfinnegan.com. A few more relevant details:
* This will be shot in midtown Manhattan, the afternoon of Sunday 2/8
* This will require no preparation from you
* This will take about an hour of your time (90 minutes tops!)
* Your name will be listed in the credits and thanked in the DVD liner notes
* You will not be made to look like an ass
So what say you? Again, I can be reached at cf@christianfinnegan.com.
Let a brutha know.
Regards,
Christian Finnegan
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
WHY SHOULD FACEBOOK HAVE A MONOPOLY ON ME-RELATED TRIVIA?
So here's the deal:
Earlier today I got tagged in my friend Liam's Facebook note, "25 THINGS YOU DON"T KNOW ABOUT ME". It appears to be one of those viral Facebook threads that usually makes me flip off my computer screen. Here are the 'rules', such as they are:
"Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you."
Like I said, usually stuff like this makes me want to stab the sender in the face. But this 'thread' is open-ended enough to not be a total waste of time; I enjoyed Liam's note and I've stumbled upon a few other peoples' versions and enjoyed them as well. I've been remiss in posting anything other than promotional pleas lately, so I've decided to be a 13 year old girl and participate in this modern-day chain letter.
As you probably guessed, this started as a Facebook note, but I'm posting it here as well, seeing as I wasted so much damned time on it.
Now, without further ado:
25 THINGS ABOUT ME (AS IF ANYONE COULD GIVE A CRAP)
1. My full name is Fletcher Christian Finnegan. History buffs among you might assume that I was named after the infamous mutineer Fletcher Christian. Sadly, this is not the case. This simple truth is that my parents conspired to ruin my childhood.
2. My left armpit is considerably less hairy than my right.
3. In 8th and 9th grade I was briefly the lead singer of a hair metal band called "Fallout". Despite my extensive musical theater and chorus class experience, I was ill-equipped for my role as frontman / sex god. No one wants to watch a doughy, zit-faced dweeb bellow Tesla's "Modern Day Cowboy" (lowered a full octave).
4. A big 'date night' for my wife and I? Dinner at one of the four restaurants in our neighborhood and than an hour or two of Megatouch.
5. I never drank or took an illicit substance until a few weeks before my 21st birthday. Somehow I made it through high school (two years of which were at a rather drug-happy boarding school) and two years of college in NYC (including a summer working at a pub, fer chrissake) without falling prey to any 'negative influences'. These days? Not so much.
6. Despite my clean living, a long bout of teenage insomnia inspired my aging hippie 10th grade English teacher to pull me out into the hallway and demand I admit to being a hardcore drug user.
7. I lost my virginity on the floor of my dad's condominium with Steve Martin's "The Lonely Guy" on pause. (And no, my father was not in the room.)
8. I am both a middle and an only child. My younger brother Bobby passed away on July 13, 2001 and my older brother John passed away on March 17, 2008 (Hey, these shouldn't all be wacky, should they?)
9. When I was 19, Ayn Rand's "The Fountainhead" completely changed the way I thought about the world. I later realized that people whose lives were changed by "The Fountainhead" are, without exception, huge fucking assholes.
10. If health was not a concern, I could eat KFC for the rest of my life.
11. The biggest regret of my childhood is not taking my guitar lessons seriously and then quitting once my teacher moved away. I mean, I'm sure there are things I regret more, but nothing that crosses my mind so consistently.
12. I once stood and watched Elvis Costello walk about 500 yards down Broadway, wondering if I should chase after him yelling, "Hey, Declan Patrick Aloysius MacManus!", so he'd know I was a real fan.
13. The last two movies that made me choke up were both animated (Ratatouille and Wall-E)
14. II was once busted for shoplifting two cassettes from Lechmere's department store. I was horribly embarrassed, as I considered myself a 'good kid'. I was even more embarrassed that one of the cassettes was an album by Jon Butcher.
15. In 9th grade I played the Cowardly Lion in my 99.99% white public high school's production of "The Wiz". It was none too funky.
16. When I used to temp, I took a twenty minute nap every day in one of the bathroom stalls. If you're ever interested, I can show you the perfect makeshift toilet pillow.
17. My father once briefly dated a woman he later found out to be a transsexual. A transsexual who, as a man, had been one of my father's business acquaintances. He swears they were never intimate. I have chosen to believe him.
18. In my upcoming comedy DVD (airing on Comedy Central, mostly likely in May, and then in stores a week or two later) I'm wearing a vest purchased in the store where Tom Waits gets all of his hats.
19. I think I'm drawing a technological line in the sand at Twitter. No. Can. Fucking. Do.
20. I used to hang out at a place in NYC called Fez, because my friend was the hostess and could get me in for free. One night I was enjoying a rather great folk singer named Sharon Worrell and she brought a 'friend' up to play a guest set. The ten of us in the audience were then treated to a 30 minute Jeff Buckley solo set. The highlight was an amazing song I later learned was "What Will You Say?" when it was released on the posthumous "Mystery White Boy" album. You should check it out, by the way, as it's possibly the best live vocal performance in recent rock history.
21. I once won a car on a gameshow.
22. My wife and I got married in a former mayonnaise factory by a friend who got ordained on the internet. Our 'processional' theme was "Head Over Heels" by Tears for Fears and the caterer was Brother Jimmy's BBQ.
23. Before I started doing comedy I was an assistant literary agent. One of my friends and co-workers was the supernaturally talented and good-natured John Hodgman. He's told me he thought I was mentally ill for leaving the security of the publishing industry for something as unreliable as comedy. I believe he now owns a castle and a fleet of Bentleys.
24. I recently purchased two items from Andre 3000's "Benjamin Bixby" clothing line. No, seriously.
25. I've spent a substantial time coming up with a playlist to be played at my funeral. Highlights include "Dead Man's Will" by Calexico & Iron and Wine, "Wind Through the Trees" by Ed Harcourt and "Que Sera Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)" by Sly and the Family Stone.
So here's the deal:
Earlier today I got tagged in my friend Liam's Facebook note, "25 THINGS YOU DON"T KNOW ABOUT ME". It appears to be one of those viral Facebook threads that usually makes me flip off my computer screen. Here are the 'rules', such as they are:
"Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you."
Like I said, usually stuff like this makes me want to stab the sender in the face. But this 'thread' is open-ended enough to not be a total waste of time; I enjoyed Liam's note and I've stumbled upon a few other peoples' versions and enjoyed them as well. I've been remiss in posting anything other than promotional pleas lately, so I've decided to be a 13 year old girl and participate in this modern-day chain letter.
As you probably guessed, this started as a Facebook note, but I'm posting it here as well, seeing as I wasted so much damned time on it.
Now, without further ado:
25 THINGS ABOUT ME (AS IF ANYONE COULD GIVE A CRAP)
1. My full name is Fletcher Christian Finnegan. History buffs among you might assume that I was named after the infamous mutineer Fletcher Christian. Sadly, this is not the case. This simple truth is that my parents conspired to ruin my childhood.
2. My left armpit is considerably less hairy than my right.
3. In 8th and 9th grade I was briefly the lead singer of a hair metal band called "Fallout". Despite my extensive musical theater and chorus class experience, I was ill-equipped for my role as frontman / sex god. No one wants to watch a doughy, zit-faced dweeb bellow Tesla's "Modern Day Cowboy" (lowered a full octave).
4. A big 'date night' for my wife and I? Dinner at one of the four restaurants in our neighborhood and than an hour or two of Megatouch.
5. I never drank or took an illicit substance until a few weeks before my 21st birthday. Somehow I made it through high school (two years of which were at a rather drug-happy boarding school) and two years of college in NYC (including a summer working at a pub, fer chrissake) without falling prey to any 'negative influences'. These days? Not so much.
6. Despite my clean living, a long bout of teenage insomnia inspired my aging hippie 10th grade English teacher to pull me out into the hallway and demand I admit to being a hardcore drug user.
7. I lost my virginity on the floor of my dad's condominium with Steve Martin's "The Lonely Guy" on pause. (And no, my father was not in the room.)
8. I am both a middle and an only child. My younger brother Bobby passed away on July 13, 2001 and my older brother John passed away on March 17, 2008 (Hey, these shouldn't all be wacky, should they?)
9. When I was 19, Ayn Rand's "The Fountainhead" completely changed the way I thought about the world. I later realized that people whose lives were changed by "The Fountainhead" are, without exception, huge fucking assholes.
10. If health was not a concern, I could eat KFC for the rest of my life.
11. The biggest regret of my childhood is not taking my guitar lessons seriously and then quitting once my teacher moved away. I mean, I'm sure there are things I regret more, but nothing that crosses my mind so consistently.
12. I once stood and watched Elvis Costello walk about 500 yards down Broadway, wondering if I should chase after him yelling, "Hey, Declan Patrick Aloysius MacManus!", so he'd know I was a real fan.
13. The last two movies that made me choke up were both animated (Ratatouille and Wall-E)
14. II was once busted for shoplifting two cassettes from Lechmere's department store. I was horribly embarrassed, as I considered myself a 'good kid'. I was even more embarrassed that one of the cassettes was an album by Jon Butcher.
15. In 9th grade I played the Cowardly Lion in my 99.99% white public high school's production of "The Wiz". It was none too funky.
16. When I used to temp, I took a twenty minute nap every day in one of the bathroom stalls. If you're ever interested, I can show you the perfect makeshift toilet pillow.
17. My father once briefly dated a woman he later found out to be a transsexual. A transsexual who, as a man, had been one of my father's business acquaintances. He swears they were never intimate. I have chosen to believe him.
18. In my upcoming comedy DVD (airing on Comedy Central, mostly likely in May, and then in stores a week or two later) I'm wearing a vest purchased in the store where Tom Waits gets all of his hats.
19. I think I'm drawing a technological line in the sand at Twitter. No. Can. Fucking. Do.
20. I used to hang out at a place in NYC called Fez, because my friend was the hostess and could get me in for free. One night I was enjoying a rather great folk singer named Sharon Worrell and she brought a 'friend' up to play a guest set. The ten of us in the audience were then treated to a 30 minute Jeff Buckley solo set. The highlight was an amazing song I later learned was "What Will You Say?" when it was released on the posthumous "Mystery White Boy" album. You should check it out, by the way, as it's possibly the best live vocal performance in recent rock history.
21. I once won a car on a gameshow.
22. My wife and I got married in a former mayonnaise factory by a friend who got ordained on the internet. Our 'processional' theme was "Head Over Heels" by Tears for Fears and the caterer was Brother Jimmy's BBQ.
23. Before I started doing comedy I was an assistant literary agent. One of my friends and co-workers was the supernaturally talented and good-natured John Hodgman. He's told me he thought I was mentally ill for leaving the security of the publishing industry for something as unreliable as comedy. I believe he now owns a castle and a fleet of Bentleys.
24. I recently purchased two items from Andre 3000's "Benjamin Bixby" clothing line. No, seriously.
25. I've spent a substantial time coming up with a playlist to be played at my funeral. Highlights include "Dead Man's Will" by Calexico & Iron and Wine, "Wind Through the Trees" by Ed Harcourt and "Que Sera Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)" by Sly and the Family Stone.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
HEY ATLANTA, WE ARE ONE! (January 22-25)
Tuesday, January 20, 2009: Barack Obama is inaugurated as the 44th President of the United States of America.
Thursday, January 22 through Sunday, January 25, 2009: Christian Finnegan performs at The Punchline Comedy Club in Atlanta, GA.
What an amazing week for our nation!
Dearest weblings,
Please come out to The Punchline in Sandy Springs this coming weekend for an evening of morally questionable laughter. I will make you giggle uncontrollably, even if I'm forced to pump ether into the showroom. You will leave the show with aching sides, but that's mostly because I've hired someone to stand at the exit and punch you. Amazing what people are willing to do for money in this economy.
Some come on out, winners! Here are the specifics:
The Atlanta Punchline
Thursday 1/22 through Sunday 1/25
280 Hilderbrand Drive
Atlanta, Georgia 30328
(404)252-LAFF(5233)
As always, thanks for giving a poop.
Christian Finnegan
American Stand Up Comedian
Tuesday, January 20, 2009: Barack Obama is inaugurated as the 44th President of the United States of America.
Thursday, January 22 through Sunday, January 25, 2009: Christian Finnegan performs at The Punchline Comedy Club in Atlanta, GA.
What an amazing week for our nation!
Dearest weblings,
Please come out to The Punchline in Sandy Springs this coming weekend for an evening of morally questionable laughter. I will make you giggle uncontrollably, even if I'm forced to pump ether into the showroom. You will leave the show with aching sides, but that's mostly because I've hired someone to stand at the exit and punch you. Amazing what people are willing to do for money in this economy.
Some come on out, winners! Here are the specifics:
The Atlanta Punchline
Thursday 1/22 through Sunday 1/25
280 Hilderbrand Drive
Atlanta, Georgia 30328
(404)252-LAFF(5233)
As always, thanks for giving a poop.
Christian Finnegan
American Stand Up Comedian
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
HELPPORTUNITY: ARE YOU A FORMER POLE VAULTER OR SEX SHOP EMPLOYEE?
WANT TO BE IN MY UPCOMING COMEDY DVD?
NO?
WELL, WILL YOU ANYWAY??
Hello, Facebooklings.
As you may remember from my barrage of promotional emails, I recently taped a one-hour comedy special to be aired on Comedy Central and sold in real stores for actual cash money. Fun and exciting stuff to be sure.
Anyway, I'm going to be shooting a few DVD extras that will also function as web advertisements and I'm looking for some help from...YOU.
(Nice use of ellipses there, no? I think it really made the "you" thing feel more dramatic.)
I'm looking to conduct short on-camera interviews with two people:
* A former pole vaulter. Were you on your school's track and field team? Were you an Olympic hopeful? Were you just some weirdo who ran town around with a bendy fourteen foot stick? Any degree of pole vaulting experience is fine.
* A former or current sex shop worker. Have you ever worked in a store that sold "marital aids"? You know, fake wieners and whatnot?
If you are such a person, or if you know anyone who is, please please please get in touch with me. I can be reached at cf@christianfinnegan.com. A few more relevant details:
* This will be shot in NYC, most likely in February (so you'd need to be reasonably nearby)
* This will require no preparation from you
* This will take about an hour of your time
* Your name will be listed in the credits and thanked in the DVD liner notes
* You will not be made to look like an ass
So what say you? Again, I can be reached at cf@christianfinnegan.com.
Thanks. Look forward to hearing from you.
Regards,
Christian Finnegan
WANT TO BE IN MY UPCOMING COMEDY DVD?
NO?
WELL, WILL YOU ANYWAY??
Hello, Facebooklings.
As you may remember from my barrage of promotional emails, I recently taped a one-hour comedy special to be aired on Comedy Central and sold in real stores for actual cash money. Fun and exciting stuff to be sure.
Anyway, I'm going to be shooting a few DVD extras that will also function as web advertisements and I'm looking for some help from...YOU.
(Nice use of ellipses there, no? I think it really made the "you" thing feel more dramatic.)
I'm looking to conduct short on-camera interviews with two people:
* A former pole vaulter. Were you on your school's track and field team? Were you an Olympic hopeful? Were you just some weirdo who ran town around with a bendy fourteen foot stick? Any degree of pole vaulting experience is fine.
* A former or current sex shop worker. Have you ever worked in a store that sold "marital aids"? You know, fake wieners and whatnot?
If you are such a person, or if you know anyone who is, please please please get in touch with me. I can be reached at cf@christianfinnegan.com. A few more relevant details:
* This will be shot in NYC, most likely in February (so you'd need to be reasonably nearby)
* This will require no preparation from you
* This will take about an hour of your time
* Your name will be listed in the credits and thanked in the DVD liner notes
* You will not be made to look like an ass
So what say you? Again, I can be reached at cf@christianfinnegan.com.
Thanks. Look forward to hearing from you.
Regards,
Christian Finnegan
Sunday, January 11, 2009
NO, IM NOT HIGH
Why is 'hanky' the only kind of 'panky' you ever hear about? No one ever tells his wife, "Honey, I want you to know that what you witnessed between me and that cocktail waitress was completely appropriate panky. Nothing hanky whatsoever." Or do I have the phraseology wrong here? Is 'hanky' an adjective describing the sort of 'panky' you're engaged in, or does 'panky' describe someone one does with his or her 'hanky'? Which word is the modifier here?
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
ON VILLAINY AND WARDROBE
I wish all the assholes we encountered in our day to day lives wore costumes like comic book super-villains. It would make them so much easier to pick out from a distance. Because I'm introduced to and forced to socialize with new assholes every day (part of being a traveling performer) and it would save me so much time to know someone's douchebag status before engaging you in conversation. But for the most part, terrible people blend in with the rest of us and don't reveal their shitty personalities until you're cornered.
Say you're having a post show drink with the comedy club staff in a not-so-metropolitan area of the country. You know, just a completely random scenario. After 20 minutes of seemingly light conversation, one of the bartenders refers to the 'dyke cunt' who's hassling him for child support. Or he gets drunk and decides to give you his nuanced take on Islamic culture. At that moment, it suddenly dawns on you, "Oh no. You're evil, aren't you? Wow, I had no idea. To think, I could so easily have avoided you. Now I'm going to have to pretend to need to use the restroom and then quietly ask the club manager for a ride back to my hotel."
In the utopian world of Spiderman and the Fantastic Four, however, bad guys generally give you a visual heads-up. They go about their business wearing masks with black capes, maybe a glowing amulet of some sort. An ensemble that shouts, unequivocally: "I AM AN ASSHOLE. NO SERIOUSLY, KEEP WALKING. I'M WEARING STUDDED FOREARM GUARDS AND AN IRON FACEPLATE--YOU THINK I DON'T MEAN ILL WILL? THERE IS NOTHING TO BE GAINED BY ENGAGING ME ON ANY LEVEL." What a public service!
I just wish there was some modern-day equivalent. I guess the closest thing we have is Ed Hardy t-shirts.
p.s. Seriously, wearing an Ed Hardy t-shirt and enjoying an energy drink?
I wish all the assholes we encountered in our day to day lives wore costumes like comic book super-villains. It would make them so much easier to pick out from a distance. Because I'm introduced to and forced to socialize with new assholes every day (part of being a traveling performer) and it would save me so much time to know someone's douchebag status before engaging you in conversation. But for the most part, terrible people blend in with the rest of us and don't reveal their shitty personalities until you're cornered.
Say you're having a post show drink with the comedy club staff in a not-so-metropolitan area of the country. You know, just a completely random scenario. After 20 minutes of seemingly light conversation, one of the bartenders refers to the 'dyke cunt' who's hassling him for child support. Or he gets drunk and decides to give you his nuanced take on Islamic culture. At that moment, it suddenly dawns on you, "Oh no. You're evil, aren't you? Wow, I had no idea. To think, I could so easily have avoided you. Now I'm going to have to pretend to need to use the restroom and then quietly ask the club manager for a ride back to my hotel."
In the utopian world of Spiderman and the Fantastic Four, however, bad guys generally give you a visual heads-up. They go about their business wearing masks with black capes, maybe a glowing amulet of some sort. An ensemble that shouts, unequivocally: "I AM AN ASSHOLE. NO SERIOUSLY, KEEP WALKING. I'M WEARING STUDDED FOREARM GUARDS AND AN IRON FACEPLATE--YOU THINK I DON'T MEAN ILL WILL? THERE IS NOTHING TO BE GAINED BY ENGAGING ME ON ANY LEVEL." What a public service!
I just wish there was some modern-day equivalent. I guess the closest thing we have is Ed Hardy t-shirts.
p.s. Seriously, wearing an Ed Hardy t-shirt and enjoying an energy drink?
Sunday, January 04, 2009
I SHOULD BE A LIFE COACH
So it's early January, which is traditionally a time of earnest optimism. You're going to lose those forty pounds! You're going to get that promotion! You're going to finish that screenplay about the life of Ed Asner! Well pardon me for introducing a grey lining to the world's New Year's cloud of silver, but I'd like to offer up a few sober words in defense of...quitting.
It's a universally accepted truism that, no matter how many times you get knocked down, you have to keep getting back up. Most of the Great American Success Stories have been fueled by this idea. But you know what else this idea helps sustain? The Great American Self-Delusion Story. You know what happens when you're repeatedly knocked down and insist on getting back up? You end up looking like Mickey Rourke*.
Maybe there are times when one should say, "Hey, I've been knocked down a few times. I'm beginning to think that maybe I'm not the world's greatest fighter and I kind of like my nose the where it is now. I think I'll just stay on the mat for a bit. And while I'm down here, maybe I'll fill out a few grad school applications."
I don't mean to depress anyone. I just think there's some value in taking inventory of what you're doing and why you're doing it. There's something righteous about occasionally looking around you and saying, "You know what? Fuck this." Imagine you're a buffalo, peacefully grazing on the plain. All the sudden a stampede breaks out. The buffalo next to you breaks into a mad dash and you think, "Oh, I guess we're running now." You didn't really make a conscious decision to start running--it just seemed like the appropriate thing to do at the time. So now you're charging across the plain as fast as your legs can carry you and you have absolutely no idea why. And you're tearing up the earth and you just watched your uncle get trampled (it's okay, he was kind of a dick) and you ask, "So, um, what is the point exactly?" and all the other buffalo reply, "Just keep running, queer."
But eventually you get to a point where you've had enough. You've got a bitch of a leg cramp (you're supposed to wait thirty minutes after mealtime before you go stampeding) and you say, "Alright, this is just silliness. We're not running anywhere in particular. Nothing is chasing us. Fuck it. I quit." So you pull over to the side and stop running. A hundred and fifty buffalo storm past you, aghast. "Well I never! Doesn't that lazy fool know we're in the middle of a stampede?" But eventually one or two of them say, "Hmmm, that dude's got the right idea." So they pull off to hang with you. And then a few more. And a few more. Finally, everyone's at a standstill. They're chilling, sipping from a pristine lake, happily mounting each other--just generally living it up, buffalo style. All thanks to you, the quitter.
I have no intention of ever abandoning stand up comedy. I love the process of crafting new material and performing it live, there are people who believe I'm reasonably good at it and...frankly, I have no other marketable skills. But a least once a year I will ask myself, "Do I suck? Am I still enjoying this life I've chosen, or am I just hangingon like a barnacle because I'm afraid of admitting failure? Should I...quit?"
Enjoy your Monday!
* I know it's kind of not cool to piss on Mickey Rourke in the middle of his career renaissance and I certainly wish him well (Angelheart is one of my favorite movies of all time), but there can be no debate that that dude's desire to be a mediocre boxer fucked up his face something fierce. And yeah, the multiple plastic surgeries didn't help...
So it's early January, which is traditionally a time of earnest optimism. You're going to lose those forty pounds! You're going to get that promotion! You're going to finish that screenplay about the life of Ed Asner! Well pardon me for introducing a grey lining to the world's New Year's cloud of silver, but I'd like to offer up a few sober words in defense of...quitting.
It's a universally accepted truism that, no matter how many times you get knocked down, you have to keep getting back up. Most of the Great American Success Stories have been fueled by this idea. But you know what else this idea helps sustain? The Great American Self-Delusion Story. You know what happens when you're repeatedly knocked down and insist on getting back up? You end up looking like Mickey Rourke*.
Maybe there are times when one should say, "Hey, I've been knocked down a few times. I'm beginning to think that maybe I'm not the world's greatest fighter and I kind of like my nose the where it is now. I think I'll just stay on the mat for a bit. And while I'm down here, maybe I'll fill out a few grad school applications."
I don't mean to depress anyone. I just think there's some value in taking inventory of what you're doing and why you're doing it. There's something righteous about occasionally looking around you and saying, "You know what? Fuck this." Imagine you're a buffalo, peacefully grazing on the plain. All the sudden a stampede breaks out. The buffalo next to you breaks into a mad dash and you think, "Oh, I guess we're running now." You didn't really make a conscious decision to start running--it just seemed like the appropriate thing to do at the time. So now you're charging across the plain as fast as your legs can carry you and you have absolutely no idea why. And you're tearing up the earth and you just watched your uncle get trampled (it's okay, he was kind of a dick) and you ask, "So, um, what is the point exactly?" and all the other buffalo reply, "Just keep running, queer."
But eventually you get to a point where you've had enough. You've got a bitch of a leg cramp (you're supposed to wait thirty minutes after mealtime before you go stampeding) and you say, "Alright, this is just silliness. We're not running anywhere in particular. Nothing is chasing us. Fuck it. I quit." So you pull over to the side and stop running. A hundred and fifty buffalo storm past you, aghast. "Well I never! Doesn't that lazy fool know we're in the middle of a stampede?" But eventually one or two of them say, "Hmmm, that dude's got the right idea." So they pull off to hang with you. And then a few more. And a few more. Finally, everyone's at a standstill. They're chilling, sipping from a pristine lake, happily mounting each other--just generally living it up, buffalo style. All thanks to you, the quitter.
I have no intention of ever abandoning stand up comedy. I love the process of crafting new material and performing it live, there are people who believe I'm reasonably good at it and...frankly, I have no other marketable skills. But a least once a year I will ask myself, "Do I suck? Am I still enjoying this life I've chosen, or am I just hangingon like a barnacle because I'm afraid of admitting failure? Should I...quit?"
Enjoy your Monday!
* I know it's kind of not cool to piss on Mickey Rourke in the middle of his career renaissance and I certainly wish him well (Angelheart is one of my favorite movies of all time), but there can be no debate that that dude's desire to be a mediocre boxer fucked up his face something fierce. And yeah, the multiple plastic surgeries didn't help...
Friday, January 02, 2009
WHEREFORE ART THOU, MILDRED?
A lot of my friends have kids and it seems very 'au courant' to give your child a name that makes him sound like he was born in the 1920's, like Max or Lucy. I have two separate friends who named their kid Jackson, for example. That's all well and good I suppose, but if you're going to name your child Jackson or Bartholomew, you should have to buy him a little baby top hat and a little baby monocle. Actually that would be kind of excellent, seeing a dapper baby waving cheerfully from inside his stroller, a la FDR.
It should be noted, however, that not all old-timey names have experienced a revival. Some baby names get abandoned, banished to the netherworld, never again to be uttered within maternity ward walls. Like 'Mildred'.
That was once a common and respectable girl's name and then KA-POOF! How does that happen, that a name just suddenly vanishes? Is it just because it's not 'pretty' sounding? What is it about 'Mildred' (or Myron or Bertha) that just denies any sense of romance or sexuality? It can't always have been that way, could it? At some juncture in history, there must have been a supremely do-able woman named Mildred*. At some point, probably back in the 1890's, some guy in the those of passion must have moaned, "Ohhhh Mildred, that feels so good." And Mildred responded lustily, "I am gonna suck your cock...Myron."
The next day, while gossiping with pals over a fresh sasparilla, Myron probably said, "Dude, I'm telling you...Mildred. That girl knows things!"
And a friend says, "Well, how hot is this Mildred chick? Are we talking 'Bertha' hot?"
"Whoa, let's not get crazy here! I mean, Mildred's got a great ass and stuff...but nobody is Bertha hot."
So what happened? Was there some sort of tidal shift in opinion that occurred over time, or was there one particular woman so heinous, so physically repugnant that she ruined the name Bertha for all time? That's a degree of ugly beyond simple human comprehension. I went to junior high school with a girl named Heather Abrahams**, who was...how should I put this? Heather was a beast. Just a truly unfortunate looking person. The kind of girl that if you said walked into the room and said, "Hey, I heard you're going out with Heather Abrahams," we'd all burst out laughing. I wouldn't even be offended because it would be supremely obvious that there was no conceivable reason this would be true and that you had just made a hilarious joke. But in no way did Heather Abrahams' catastrophic acne or excessive back-fat interfere with me spending the better part of 7th grade, laying on my bed and masturbating to a poster of Heather Thomas** from TV's "The Fall Guy". That level of unattractiveness, while potent, was non-transferable.
So dear god, who was this poor Bertha woman? Apparently she was hideous enough to take the name 'Roberta' down with her, simply by being in the same ballpark. That's impressive.
* Yeah yeah, I know there was an old movie actress named Mildred Pierce. I owned that Sonic Youth album too, you pretentious fuck.
** The names of both the unfortunate looking girl and the marginal Eighties TV babe have been changed. This is 2009, after all, and that's not the kind of thing I'd want to come up in a self-google.
______________
NOTE: So after a couple year of relative blog silence I'm going to start posting things again, for reasons partially beyond my comprehension. Feel free to read them. Or don't. But keep the bar low--anything that find its way to the stand up stage will eventually be funnier, I promise.
A lot of my friends have kids and it seems very 'au courant' to give your child a name that makes him sound like he was born in the 1920's, like Max or Lucy. I have two separate friends who named their kid Jackson, for example. That's all well and good I suppose, but if you're going to name your child Jackson or Bartholomew, you should have to buy him a little baby top hat and a little baby monocle. Actually that would be kind of excellent, seeing a dapper baby waving cheerfully from inside his stroller, a la FDR.
It should be noted, however, that not all old-timey names have experienced a revival. Some baby names get abandoned, banished to the netherworld, never again to be uttered within maternity ward walls. Like 'Mildred'.
That was once a common and respectable girl's name and then KA-POOF! How does that happen, that a name just suddenly vanishes? Is it just because it's not 'pretty' sounding? What is it about 'Mildred' (or Myron or Bertha) that just denies any sense of romance or sexuality? It can't always have been that way, could it? At some juncture in history, there must have been a supremely do-able woman named Mildred*. At some point, probably back in the 1890's, some guy in the those of passion must have moaned, "Ohhhh Mildred, that feels so good." And Mildred responded lustily, "I am gonna suck your cock...Myron."
The next day, while gossiping with pals over a fresh sasparilla, Myron probably said, "Dude, I'm telling you...Mildred. That girl knows things!"
And a friend says, "Well, how hot is this Mildred chick? Are we talking 'Bertha' hot?"
"Whoa, let's not get crazy here! I mean, Mildred's got a great ass and stuff...but nobody is Bertha hot."
So what happened? Was there some sort of tidal shift in opinion that occurred over time, or was there one particular woman so heinous, so physically repugnant that she ruined the name Bertha for all time? That's a degree of ugly beyond simple human comprehension. I went to junior high school with a girl named Heather Abrahams**, who was...how should I put this? Heather was a beast. Just a truly unfortunate looking person. The kind of girl that if you said walked into the room and said, "Hey, I heard you're going out with Heather Abrahams," we'd all burst out laughing. I wouldn't even be offended because it would be supremely obvious that there was no conceivable reason this would be true and that you had just made a hilarious joke. But in no way did Heather Abrahams' catastrophic acne or excessive back-fat interfere with me spending the better part of 7th grade, laying on my bed and masturbating to a poster of Heather Thomas** from TV's "The Fall Guy". That level of unattractiveness, while potent, was non-transferable.
So dear god, who was this poor Bertha woman? Apparently she was hideous enough to take the name 'Roberta' down with her, simply by being in the same ballpark. That's impressive.
* Yeah yeah, I know there was an old movie actress named Mildred Pierce. I owned that Sonic Youth album too, you pretentious fuck.
** The names of both the unfortunate looking girl and the marginal Eighties TV babe have been changed. This is 2009, after all, and that's not the kind of thing I'd want to come up in a self-google.
______________
NOTE: So after a couple year of relative blog silence I'm going to start posting things again, for reasons partially beyond my comprehension. Feel free to read them. Or don't. But keep the bar low--anything that find its way to the stand up stage will eventually be funnier, I promise.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Here's Part Two (of two) of my self-important rant on the year in music. A reminder: all of these songs have been compiled on an iTunes 'iMix', entitled "FINNEGAN'S GUIDE TO POPULAR MUSIC 2008. Check it out, if you want to hear clips of any of these little ditties.
NOTE: Scroll Down for Part One, to see numbers 27 through 15.
14. AL GREEN, "Wanna Say" – I promise I'm not just throwing this one on here in an attempt to break up the unending stream of white people. The term "return to form" is way overused by lazy music critics, but here it really applies. He seems to have recaptured not only the sound but also the intimacy of his classic Seventies albums.
13. SON LUX, "Raise" – This album is relatively new to me, having learned about it on NPR's "All Songs Considered" year end wrap-up (yeah, I know). But wow, is it something special. Each song managed to be simultaneously beautiful and bleak as all living hell. Still, I probably won't listen to it constantly. It's kind of like the film "Children of Men"—sometimes you just don't have the energy, you know?
12. THE CURE. "This. Here and Now. With You." – At this point, The Cure probably isn't going to pick up any new fans. If you haven't liked them in the past, you won't like this. But there are songs on "4:13 Dream" that stand up with the best stuff they've ever recorded. And this is the Cure in 'giddy' mode, which I always love. If you used to be a fan and gave up on them years ago, this is worth checking out.
11. NADA SURF, "I Like What You Say" – This a nearly perfect pop song by a band that specializes in nearly perfect pop songs. I've been a huge fan for years and they just keep on churning out great albums. The word I'd use for Nada Surf is "tasteful", which sounds like an insult but it's not. I'm never not in the mood to hear this song.
10. DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE, "No Sunlight" – Like Nada Surf, Death Cab writes mature power pop songs for adults. A lot of Ben Gibbard's lyrics resonate with me in ways I'm not entirely comfortable with—not this song, specifically, but in general. They definitely have a style that they stick to, but it's great to buy an album knowing that it's going to be check-full of fantastic songs with smart lyrics, expertly performed and produced.
9. BON IVER, "Skinny Love" – Another 'critic's darling' that totally lives up to the hype. After a few listens, at least. It took me a while to adapt to the main dude's near-constant falsetto, but now I find it eerie and beautiful. The songs on "For Emma, Forever Ago" are ultra-simple, but become more evocative with each listen. This is one of those lay-in-the-dark-while-wearing-noise-canceling-headphones albums. As such, it doesn't quite attain Iron & Wine status, but it's still pretty amazing stuff.
8. M83, "Kim & Jessie" – Lots of bands these days use the early 8'0s as a musical jumping-off point. But for the most part, they're working with a very specific strain of Eighties Pop—angular, up-tempo New Wave, a la The Jam. This song is different. It harkens back to the blissed-out Casio queerfests of Thompson Twins and Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark*. It's music to make you want to sit Indian-style on a glass dinner table, making out with Samantha Baker (or Jake Ryan, depending on who you'd prefer to be in that scenario).
* Typing out these words, I felt a wave of revulsion at how ridiculous a band name this is. When I was a kid I assumed it was just some abstract combination of words, like "The Electronic Walrus Party" or something. I now see it as the foppiest, most pretentious, most PLEASE-GIVE-ME-A-WEDGIE five words ever composed in English. Egads!
7. GOLDFRAPP, "A&E"—This song's actually from the same neck of the woods as the M83 song, in that it's lush, keyboard-heavy stuff. But it's even more airy-fairy. The whole album feels like it was recorded inside the movie 'Legend', if that an be construed as a good thing. I give them credit for taking things in a different direction after having garnered a huge following over the last couple of albums, doing a techno burlesque kind of thing. Here's the litmus test: Where do you stand on Kate Bush? If you're 'pro', you'll probably love this song.
6. TV ON THE RADIO, "Halfway Home"—A real step forward for a band that was already great. I don't think there's a band recording today more confident in its musical vision than TV on the Radio, with the possible exception of Radiohead. How in the world would you classify a song like this? How in hell would you go about writing it? It's as if they've created their own genre of music.
5. KINGS OF LEON, "Notion"—Holy fuck do I love this band. When they debuted, I wrote them off as a blues-rock gimmick. But now I'm a true believer--over the past three albums I've listened to KOL as much as any other band in my collection (do people even call it that anymore? Would referring to it as my 'Library' be more or less worthy of scorn?) I feel like they've caught a bit of indie backlash for making a 'bigger' sounding record, which is typical. But I don't think the best bands, the bands that really end up "mattering", shy away fro a smidgen of grandiosity. I don't think there's any fear of this band going all 'Coldplay' on you.
4. MATES OF STATE, "The Re-Arranger"—There was one day where I listened to this song eight times in a single afternoon. It's funny, there are a bunch of the songs I consider to have universal appeal. And yet, my four favorite songs of the year are all ones I could understand any rational human being loathing. This is especially true of "The Re-Arranger". This is peppy shit, so if you can't do 'peppy', best to move on. But if this is up your alley, you should watch the YouTube video of their daughter (Mates of State are a married couple) dancing offstage to this song during an outdoor concert. Pretty life-affirming stuff.
3. THE HOLD STEADY, "Constructive Summer"—I remember seeing "Dazed and Confused" for the first time and thinking about director Richard Linklater, "Man, that guy really gets it." I wasn't talking about all of the period references and goofy bellbottoms; what struck me was how well that movie evoked what it's like to be a teenager in the suburbs. The Hold Steady do the same thing for me, only with a huge dose of restlessness. Singer/writer guy Craig Finn is like Springsteen for kids who grew up going to soccer practice. The line, "We're going to build something this Summer" is, to me, the ultimate expression of suburban hope and desperation.
2. DR. DOG, "The Rabbit, the Bat and the Reindeer" – I love it when a band sounds like nothing you've ever heard before. But I also kind of like it when an artist says, "Fuck it, this is the kind of music we want to make, and we end up sounding like something you might have heard before so be it. (That's how I earnestly defended Lenny Kravitz for his first few albums.) Dr. Dog gets thrown under the 'revivalist' bus, as if they're nothing but a novelty act because they sound like the Beatles, as impersonated by The Soggy Bottom Boys. But people forget that Beatles were only the Beatles because they wrote great songs. This too is a great, great song.
1. MGMT, "Time to Pretend"—On paper, this is the kind of band that I hate: two predictably unkempt Williamburg hipsters making music where you can't tell if they're trying to be sarcastic. But geez, this is kind of extraordinary. It's not my favorite album overall (that would probably go to TV on the Radio or Bon Iver), but as songs go, "Time to Pretend" kicks me in the buttocks. It sounds like being invited to a Smurf orgy. Butt then, one of the Smurfs drops some bad E and ends up doing a nosedive through a fourth floor window.
What? Why did it get so awkward her all the sudden? Is it weird that my favorite song of the year makes me imagine getting a reach-around from a blitzed Handy Smurf? Where are you guys going?! COME BACK!!
__________________
Okay I guess that's all. I'm going to make a sincere attempt to make regular blog posts in 2009 (I refuse to use 'blog' as a verb). But just in case I turn out to be a liar, see you whenever!
Still more regards,
Christian
NOTE: Scroll Down for Part One, to see numbers 27 through 15.
14. AL GREEN, "Wanna Say" – I promise I'm not just throwing this one on here in an attempt to break up the unending stream of white people. The term "return to form" is way overused by lazy music critics, but here it really applies. He seems to have recaptured not only the sound but also the intimacy of his classic Seventies albums.
13. SON LUX, "Raise" – This album is relatively new to me, having learned about it on NPR's "All Songs Considered" year end wrap-up (yeah, I know). But wow, is it something special. Each song managed to be simultaneously beautiful and bleak as all living hell. Still, I probably won't listen to it constantly. It's kind of like the film "Children of Men"—sometimes you just don't have the energy, you know?
12. THE CURE. "This. Here and Now. With You." – At this point, The Cure probably isn't going to pick up any new fans. If you haven't liked them in the past, you won't like this. But there are songs on "4:13 Dream" that stand up with the best stuff they've ever recorded. And this is the Cure in 'giddy' mode, which I always love. If you used to be a fan and gave up on them years ago, this is worth checking out.
11. NADA SURF, "I Like What You Say" – This a nearly perfect pop song by a band that specializes in nearly perfect pop songs. I've been a huge fan for years and they just keep on churning out great albums. The word I'd use for Nada Surf is "tasteful", which sounds like an insult but it's not. I'm never not in the mood to hear this song.
10. DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE, "No Sunlight" – Like Nada Surf, Death Cab writes mature power pop songs for adults. A lot of Ben Gibbard's lyrics resonate with me in ways I'm not entirely comfortable with—not this song, specifically, but in general. They definitely have a style that they stick to, but it's great to buy an album knowing that it's going to be check-full of fantastic songs with smart lyrics, expertly performed and produced.
9. BON IVER, "Skinny Love" – Another 'critic's darling' that totally lives up to the hype. After a few listens, at least. It took me a while to adapt to the main dude's near-constant falsetto, but now I find it eerie and beautiful. The songs on "For Emma, Forever Ago" are ultra-simple, but become more evocative with each listen. This is one of those lay-in-the-dark-while-wearing-noise-canceling-headphones albums. As such, it doesn't quite attain Iron & Wine status, but it's still pretty amazing stuff.
8. M83, "Kim & Jessie" – Lots of bands these days use the early 8'0s as a musical jumping-off point. But for the most part, they're working with a very specific strain of Eighties Pop—angular, up-tempo New Wave, a la The Jam. This song is different. It harkens back to the blissed-out Casio queerfests of Thompson Twins and Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark*. It's music to make you want to sit Indian-style on a glass dinner table, making out with Samantha Baker (or Jake Ryan, depending on who you'd prefer to be in that scenario).
* Typing out these words, I felt a wave of revulsion at how ridiculous a band name this is. When I was a kid I assumed it was just some abstract combination of words, like "The Electronic Walrus Party" or something. I now see it as the foppiest, most pretentious, most PLEASE-GIVE-ME-A-WEDGIE five words ever composed in English. Egads!
7. GOLDFRAPP, "A&E"—This song's actually from the same neck of the woods as the M83 song, in that it's lush, keyboard-heavy stuff. But it's even more airy-fairy. The whole album feels like it was recorded inside the movie 'Legend', if that an be construed as a good thing. I give them credit for taking things in a different direction after having garnered a huge following over the last couple of albums, doing a techno burlesque kind of thing. Here's the litmus test: Where do you stand on Kate Bush? If you're 'pro', you'll probably love this song.
6. TV ON THE RADIO, "Halfway Home"—A real step forward for a band that was already great. I don't think there's a band recording today more confident in its musical vision than TV on the Radio, with the possible exception of Radiohead. How in the world would you classify a song like this? How in hell would you go about writing it? It's as if they've created their own genre of music.
5. KINGS OF LEON, "Notion"—Holy fuck do I love this band. When they debuted, I wrote them off as a blues-rock gimmick. But now I'm a true believer--over the past three albums I've listened to KOL as much as any other band in my collection (do people even call it that anymore? Would referring to it as my 'Library' be more or less worthy of scorn?) I feel like they've caught a bit of indie backlash for making a 'bigger' sounding record, which is typical. But I don't think the best bands, the bands that really end up "mattering", shy away fro a smidgen of grandiosity. I don't think there's any fear of this band going all 'Coldplay' on you.
4. MATES OF STATE, "The Re-Arranger"—There was one day where I listened to this song eight times in a single afternoon. It's funny, there are a bunch of the songs I consider to have universal appeal. And yet, my four favorite songs of the year are all ones I could understand any rational human being loathing. This is especially true of "The Re-Arranger". This is peppy shit, so if you can't do 'peppy', best to move on. But if this is up your alley, you should watch the YouTube video of their daughter (Mates of State are a married couple) dancing offstage to this song during an outdoor concert. Pretty life-affirming stuff.
3. THE HOLD STEADY, "Constructive Summer"—I remember seeing "Dazed and Confused" for the first time and thinking about director Richard Linklater, "Man, that guy really gets it." I wasn't talking about all of the period references and goofy bellbottoms; what struck me was how well that movie evoked what it's like to be a teenager in the suburbs. The Hold Steady do the same thing for me, only with a huge dose of restlessness. Singer/writer guy Craig Finn is like Springsteen for kids who grew up going to soccer practice. The line, "We're going to build something this Summer" is, to me, the ultimate expression of suburban hope and desperation.
2. DR. DOG, "The Rabbit, the Bat and the Reindeer" – I love it when a band sounds like nothing you've ever heard before. But I also kind of like it when an artist says, "Fuck it, this is the kind of music we want to make, and we end up sounding like something you might have heard before so be it. (That's how I earnestly defended Lenny Kravitz for his first few albums.) Dr. Dog gets thrown under the 'revivalist' bus, as if they're nothing but a novelty act because they sound like the Beatles, as impersonated by The Soggy Bottom Boys. But people forget that Beatles were only the Beatles because they wrote great songs. This too is a great, great song.
1. MGMT, "Time to Pretend"—On paper, this is the kind of band that I hate: two predictably unkempt Williamburg hipsters making music where you can't tell if they're trying to be sarcastic. But geez, this is kind of extraordinary. It's not my favorite album overall (that would probably go to TV on the Radio or Bon Iver), but as songs go, "Time to Pretend" kicks me in the buttocks. It sounds like being invited to a Smurf orgy. Butt then, one of the Smurfs drops some bad E and ends up doing a nosedive through a fourth floor window.
What? Why did it get so awkward her all the sudden? Is it weird that my favorite song of the year makes me imagine getting a reach-around from a blitzed Handy Smurf? Where are you guys going?! COME BACK!!
__________________
Okay I guess that's all. I'm going to make a sincere attempt to make regular blog posts in 2009 (I refuse to use 'blog' as a verb). But just in case I turn out to be a liar, see you whenever!
Still more regards,
Christian
FINNEGAN'S GUIDE TO POPULAR MUSIC 2008 (Part One)
So here's the deal:
I have lots of stuff I should be doing--I have a DVD coming out in a few months for which I still haven't written liner notes or filmed DVD extras, I'm painfully behind schedule in writing new stand up material and the damned dishwasher still needs to be unloaded. So how did I decide to spend the better part of yesterday? Writing an exhaustive rundown of my favorite 27 songs to be released in 2008. Why 27? Because that's as far down as I could trim my list without feeling like I left off something good. Please enjoy.
The ordering of this list is relatively arbitrary, by the way--on another day I may have ordered them differently. Anyway, here are numbers 27 through 15. I'll post the rest at some point tomorrow. Your thoughts are welcome, but feel no pressure in that regard. I'm really just doing this in the hopes that maybe you'll get turned on to a song or two you might not otherwise have heard.
FYI, I've created an "iMix", in case you want to hear samples of any of these songs. Just go to iTunes and do a search for "FINNEGAN'S GUIDE TO POPULAR MUSIC 2008".
Without further ado:
27. GHOSTLAND OBSERVATORY, "Dancing on my Grave" – I saw this band perform on 'Austin City Limits' and I couldn't decide whether the lead singer's revival-tent-preacher-on-peyote act was inspired or smarmy (a bit of both, maybe). Either way, I found myself thinking about them for days until I eventually broke down and bought the CD. The album is not stellar, but this song is great and I'm betting they'll do good stuff in the future. Plus, it's the best band name I've heard in years.
26. SHAWN SMITH, "Breathe In" – Good stuff from the leader of the late, lamented Satchel. If you're familiar with his stuff, there's nothing terribly new here, but his "thing" is idiosyncratic enough that I never tire of it.
25. MARNI STERN, "Ruler" – I listened to this album quite a bit for a week or so, until my wife demanded that I turn it off. She kind of had a point. This is probably not a sing I'll listen to a whole lot as time goes by. But it's just so gloriously odd that I'm thrilled it exists. Plus, it's cool to hear someone doing guitar fingerboard 'tapping' without trying to sound like Yngwie Malmsteen. It should be noted that this is the most radio-friendly song on the album. No, seriously.
24, DELTA SPIRIT, "Trashcan" – Everything Delta Spirit does feels so gloriously uplifting and unpretentious. They're not trying to be the 'cool kids', they're just bashing out music and singing their asses off. I hear they're a great live band, which I hope to discover in person, if I can shake off my acquired hatred of rock club crowds.
23. MELVINS, "Billy Fish" – Looking over this list, it's surprisingly light on 'heavy' stuff. That's a bit of a surprise, as I'm a sucker for musical sludge. This song makes me want to crush a row of human skulls with a sledgehammer.
22. THE FUTUREHEADS, "Work is Never Done" – This is a band that I have loved since inception, even though the majority of their most recent album ("This is Not the World") runs together a bit. It's kind of like three great songs and then one pretty good song repeated ten times. But if you dig this I highly recommend their self-titled first album.
21. GEMMA HAYES, "Sad Ol Song" – I spent a few minutes trying to describe how this song makes me feel, but then I realized it's pretty much all in the title. A simple, bittersweet tune by a great songwriter with a fantastic voice. Me likey.
20. THE TEENAGERS, "Homecoming" – Okay, this borders on being a 'gimmick' song, but it's pretty sweet. And it actually works as a pop sing, even though the vast majority of the lyrics are spoken. It's not saying anything groundbreaking (yes, American girls will screw any guy with an accent), but it's well done and pretty hilarious.
19. PORTISHEAD, "The Rip" – I had a hard time trying to decide where on the list this one should go. I dig the song itself, but it comes from the most disappointing album of the year, in my opinion. Yes, my standards for Portishead are very high, but man—this is why you shouldn't wait eleven years to put out a record. The majority of "Third" feels labored over to the point of exhaustion. The genius of "Dummy" (and, to a degree, the 2nd album) was that it was equal parts creepy and sexy. There is absolutely nothing sensual or alluring about "Third". If "Dummy" felt like a dirty rendezvous with a mysterious woman, "Third" feels like waiting to get the results of your AIDS test. Still, a great tune.
18. THE FLEET FOXES, "Sun it Rises" – This band is a real 'critic's darling', which made me assume they were overrated. And now that I've listened to the album a bunch of times, I'd say…well, they're a teensy bit overrated. But only a teensy, as the album is pretty great. If you're a sucker for vocal harmonies, you need this album.
17. COPELAND, "Should You Return" - I'll always love this song, even if it eventually ends up in an episode of "Grey's Anatomy" (assuming it hasn't already). There's just something perfectly soundtrack-esque about this song. It seems like the kind of thing you'd wander the city streets to on a rainy day, mourning your lost youth. Or something equally pretentious.
16. JAMIE LIDELL, "Green Light" – How is it that Brits has such a firm grasp of and appreciation for classic American soul music? This whole album ("Jim") is just a fun, breezy pleasure. Great summertime backyard cocktail party music.
15. VAMPIRE WEEKEND, "A Punk" – I understand neither the hype nor the backlash surrounding this band. They put out a good album of hum-able tunes with a sound that, while by no means unique, feels fresh at this particular moment in time. Plus, you have to tip your hat to a group of guys who are confident enough in their sissyhood to make repeated lyrical references to Cape Cod.
That's all for now--check back tomorrow for Part Two!
Regards,
Christian Finnegan
So here's the deal:
I have lots of stuff I should be doing--I have a DVD coming out in a few months for which I still haven't written liner notes or filmed DVD extras, I'm painfully behind schedule in writing new stand up material and the damned dishwasher still needs to be unloaded. So how did I decide to spend the better part of yesterday? Writing an exhaustive rundown of my favorite 27 songs to be released in 2008. Why 27? Because that's as far down as I could trim my list without feeling like I left off something good. Please enjoy.
The ordering of this list is relatively arbitrary, by the way--on another day I may have ordered them differently. Anyway, here are numbers 27 through 15. I'll post the rest at some point tomorrow. Your thoughts are welcome, but feel no pressure in that regard. I'm really just doing this in the hopes that maybe you'll get turned on to a song or two you might not otherwise have heard.
FYI, I've created an "iMix", in case you want to hear samples of any of these songs. Just go to iTunes and do a search for "FINNEGAN'S GUIDE TO POPULAR MUSIC 2008".
Without further ado:
27. GHOSTLAND OBSERVATORY, "Dancing on my Grave" – I saw this band perform on 'Austin City Limits' and I couldn't decide whether the lead singer's revival-tent-preacher-on-peyote act was inspired or smarmy (a bit of both, maybe). Either way, I found myself thinking about them for days until I eventually broke down and bought the CD. The album is not stellar, but this song is great and I'm betting they'll do good stuff in the future. Plus, it's the best band name I've heard in years.
26. SHAWN SMITH, "Breathe In" – Good stuff from the leader of the late, lamented Satchel. If you're familiar with his stuff, there's nothing terribly new here, but his "thing" is idiosyncratic enough that I never tire of it.
25. MARNI STERN, "Ruler" – I listened to this album quite a bit for a week or so, until my wife demanded that I turn it off. She kind of had a point. This is probably not a sing I'll listen to a whole lot as time goes by. But it's just so gloriously odd that I'm thrilled it exists. Plus, it's cool to hear someone doing guitar fingerboard 'tapping' without trying to sound like Yngwie Malmsteen. It should be noted that this is the most radio-friendly song on the album. No, seriously.
24, DELTA SPIRIT, "Trashcan" – Everything Delta Spirit does feels so gloriously uplifting and unpretentious. They're not trying to be the 'cool kids', they're just bashing out music and singing their asses off. I hear they're a great live band, which I hope to discover in person, if I can shake off my acquired hatred of rock club crowds.
23. MELVINS, "Billy Fish" – Looking over this list, it's surprisingly light on 'heavy' stuff. That's a bit of a surprise, as I'm a sucker for musical sludge. This song makes me want to crush a row of human skulls with a sledgehammer.
22. THE FUTUREHEADS, "Work is Never Done" – This is a band that I have loved since inception, even though the majority of their most recent album ("This is Not the World") runs together a bit. It's kind of like three great songs and then one pretty good song repeated ten times. But if you dig this I highly recommend their self-titled first album.
21. GEMMA HAYES, "Sad Ol Song" – I spent a few minutes trying to describe how this song makes me feel, but then I realized it's pretty much all in the title. A simple, bittersweet tune by a great songwriter with a fantastic voice. Me likey.
20. THE TEENAGERS, "Homecoming" – Okay, this borders on being a 'gimmick' song, but it's pretty sweet. And it actually works as a pop sing, even though the vast majority of the lyrics are spoken. It's not saying anything groundbreaking (yes, American girls will screw any guy with an accent), but it's well done and pretty hilarious.
19. PORTISHEAD, "The Rip" – I had a hard time trying to decide where on the list this one should go. I dig the song itself, but it comes from the most disappointing album of the year, in my opinion. Yes, my standards for Portishead are very high, but man—this is why you shouldn't wait eleven years to put out a record. The majority of "Third" feels labored over to the point of exhaustion. The genius of "Dummy" (and, to a degree, the 2nd album) was that it was equal parts creepy and sexy. There is absolutely nothing sensual or alluring about "Third". If "Dummy" felt like a dirty rendezvous with a mysterious woman, "Third" feels like waiting to get the results of your AIDS test. Still, a great tune.
18. THE FLEET FOXES, "Sun it Rises" – This band is a real 'critic's darling', which made me assume they were overrated. And now that I've listened to the album a bunch of times, I'd say…well, they're a teensy bit overrated. But only a teensy, as the album is pretty great. If you're a sucker for vocal harmonies, you need this album.
17. COPELAND, "Should You Return" - I'll always love this song, even if it eventually ends up in an episode of "Grey's Anatomy" (assuming it hasn't already). There's just something perfectly soundtrack-esque about this song. It seems like the kind of thing you'd wander the city streets to on a rainy day, mourning your lost youth. Or something equally pretentious.
16. JAMIE LIDELL, "Green Light" – How is it that Brits has such a firm grasp of and appreciation for classic American soul music? This whole album ("Jim") is just a fun, breezy pleasure. Great summertime backyard cocktail party music.
15. VAMPIRE WEEKEND, "A Punk" – I understand neither the hype nor the backlash surrounding this band. They put out a good album of hum-able tunes with a sound that, while by no means unique, feels fresh at this particular moment in time. Plus, you have to tip your hat to a group of guys who are confident enough in their sissyhood to make repeated lyrical references to Cape Cod.
That's all for now--check back tomorrow for Part Two!
Regards,
Christian Finnegan
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
From Christian Finnegan, comes this note:
Beloved e-Friends,
THE TIME OF RECKONING IS NIGH AT HAND!!
Tickets are now available for the live taping of my very first comedy special, "AU CONTRAIRE!". The two big friggin' shows will take place on October 25th at the Trocadero Theater in glorious Philadelphia, PA.
It will be a glorious night of awkward personal revelations and hypocritical assaults on your character!
I'm going to lay it bare, folks--this will be the most important night of my comedy life and I want as many friendly faces there as possible.
Don't make me bus in a bunch of homeless people!
Some good news: These tapings will be completely free of charge. You hear that, cheapskates? FREE!!! Some more good news: If you attend a taping, there's a very good chance your mug will appear on the tee-vee when Comedy Central airs "Au Contraire!" in early '09. Think you can wait around to reserve your tickets? Au contraire!** Tickets are going to be extremely limited.
SO GET YOURS NOW!
To reserve tickets, complete this online form.
Make sure to fill in the "Promo Code" section with the word "Finny". This will get you priority seating--it's my way of rewarding you, my true inter-pals.
And this way you can avoid rubbing shoulders with the filthy, teeming masses!
You. Me. A bunch of cameras.
What could be more enticing?
I'll see you October 25th, friendlies.
Christian Finnegan,
Ready for his close-up
**See what I did there? I artfully worked the title of the special into the body of the email. Pretty slick, huh? That's what makes me part of the Comedy Elite.
Beloved e-Friends,
THE TIME OF RECKONING IS NIGH AT HAND!!
Tickets are now available for the live taping of my very first comedy special, "AU CONTRAIRE!". The two big friggin' shows will take place on October 25th at the Trocadero Theater in glorious Philadelphia, PA.
It will be a glorious night of awkward personal revelations and hypocritical assaults on your character!
I'm going to lay it bare, folks--this will be the most important night of my comedy life and I want as many friendly faces there as possible.
Don't make me bus in a bunch of homeless people!
Some good news: These tapings will be completely free of charge. You hear that, cheapskates? FREE!!! Some more good news: If you attend a taping, there's a very good chance your mug will appear on the tee-vee when Comedy Central airs "Au Contraire!" in early '09. Think you can wait around to reserve your tickets? Au contraire!** Tickets are going to be extremely limited.
SO GET YOURS NOW!
To reserve tickets, complete this online form.
Make sure to fill in the "Promo Code" section with the word "Finny". This will get you priority seating--it's my way of rewarding you, my true inter-pals.
And this way you can avoid rubbing shoulders with the filthy, teeming masses!
You. Me. A bunch of cameras.
What could be more enticing?
I'll see you October 25th, friendlies.
Christian Finnegan,
Ready for his close-up
**See what I did there? I artfully worked the title of the special into the body of the email. Pretty slick, huh? That's what makes me part of the Comedy Elite.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
YOU, ME & NYC: CATCH ME AT GOTHAM COMEDY CLUB THIS WEEKEND!
New York, as the song says, is a helluva town. The sights! The sounds! The occasional confrontation with a group of angry teens on a late night subway platform--this city has it all!
And this weekend, New York City gets even helluva-er, as I'll be headlining lovely Gotham Comedy Club in Chelsea, Thursday 9/18 through Sunday 9/21. What does this mean for you? It means you need to get your toned butt (am I crazy, or have you been working out?) into a seat.
If you've been interested in coming out to see my version of American-style stand-up comedy, this is the weekend to do it. I'll be doing a dry run of the material on my soon-to-be-filmed comedy DVD laughter-ganza. Also, I'll be giving out free hugs after the show.*
So please, get yourself to W. 22nd street this weekend for an evening of awkward personal revelations and hypocritical assaults on your character. You'll giggle, you'll titter, you'll laugh yourself to the point of injury.
For show times and details, go here.
You. Me. New York Cit-ay. Let's get stupid together, people.
Christian Finnegan,
Mr. Funny Guy
* Sorry, no pelvic contact.
New York, as the song says, is a helluva town. The sights! The sounds! The occasional confrontation with a group of angry teens on a late night subway platform--this city has it all!
And this weekend, New York City gets even helluva-er, as I'll be headlining lovely Gotham Comedy Club in Chelsea, Thursday 9/18 through Sunday 9/21. What does this mean for you? It means you need to get your toned butt (am I crazy, or have you been working out?) into a seat.
If you've been interested in coming out to see my version of American-style stand-up comedy, this is the weekend to do it. I'll be doing a dry run of the material on my soon-to-be-filmed comedy DVD laughter-ganza. Also, I'll be giving out free hugs after the show.*
So please, get yourself to W. 22nd street this weekend for an evening of awkward personal revelations and hypocritical assaults on your character. You'll giggle, you'll titter, you'll laugh yourself to the point of injury.
For show times and details, go here.
You. Me. New York Cit-ay. Let's get stupid together, people.
Christian Finnegan,
Mr. Funny Guy
* Sorry, no pelvic contact.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
SAVE THE DATE: Live DVD taping in Philly 10/25!
Friends, Supporters and Those who Signed Up for My Mailing List in a Drunken Haze,
Big damn news: On October 25th, 2008 I will be filming my very first one hour stand-up special, to be aired on Comedy Central. This major league Laughter-ganza will take place at the historic Trocadero Theater is downtown Philadelphia, PA. If you live in the Philly area or can get down there on Saturday, October 25th, I want your butt in a seat! Allow my cameras to steal your soul and become a part of history, as I document my semi-fraudulent brand of stand-up comedy for posterity!
The exact details are still be fine-tuned, so this is just a glorified 'save the date' email. So, um...SAVE THE FRIGGIN' DATE! But here are a few things I can tell you:
* We will be taping two shows on the same night, probably something like 7:30pm and 10pm.
* Tickets are going to be wicked cheap (as in 'negligible')
* No matter how recently you've seen me perform, there will be
material you've never heard before
* For information on the venue itself, go to www.thetroc.com We're going to make it bee-yootiful!
Once we finish fine tuning our ticketing system, I'll let you know how you can reserve your spot. Space is going to be pretty damned limited, so start planning ahead. And please, even if you don't think you can make the taping, I'd be honored if you could pass the word along anyone in the Philly area you think might give a poop. As always, people can get on the mailing list by visiting www.christianfinnegan.com.
Thanks, friendlies. You'll be hearing from me.
Regards,
Christian Finnegan
Friends, Supporters and Those who Signed Up for My Mailing List in a Drunken Haze,
Big damn news: On October 25th, 2008 I will be filming my very first one hour stand-up special, to be aired on Comedy Central. This major league Laughter-ganza will take place at the historic Trocadero Theater is downtown Philadelphia, PA. If you live in the Philly area or can get down there on Saturday, October 25th, I want your butt in a seat! Allow my cameras to steal your soul and become a part of history, as I document my semi-fraudulent brand of stand-up comedy for posterity!
The exact details are still be fine-tuned, so this is just a glorified 'save the date' email. So, um...SAVE THE FRIGGIN' DATE! But here are a few things I can tell you:
* We will be taping two shows on the same night, probably something like 7:30pm and 10pm.
* Tickets are going to be wicked cheap (as in 'negligible')
* No matter how recently you've seen me perform, there will be
material you've never heard before
* For information on the venue itself, go to www.thetroc.com We're going to make it bee-yootiful!
Once we finish fine tuning our ticketing system, I'll let you know how you can reserve your spot. Space is going to be pretty damned limited, so start planning ahead. And please, even if you don't think you can make the taping, I'd be honored if you could pass the word along anyone in the Philly area you think might give a poop. As always, people can get on the mailing list by visiting www.christianfinnegan.com.
Thanks, friendlies. You'll be hearing from me.
Regards,
Christian Finnegan
Friday, August 01, 2008
Christian was live from the Disney World studios but they made no mention of it.
Dan Quayle on 'Dancing'?
--Kambri
Dan Quayle on 'Dancing'?
--Kambri
Monday, June 30, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
E-Friends,
Two thingies:
1) I sent out a newsletter recently. It was chock-full of good stuff--news updates, announcements and embedded clips of me on the tee-vee. Seriously, everybody's been talking about what a kick-ass newsletter it was. If you didn't receive it, that means...and I hate to just come out and say it like this, but...you are not on my mailing list. There, I said it! Oh horror of horrors! It's too terrible to imagine! Luckily, I now offer you a path to redemption. By sending a simple email HERE, you will receive a monthly update on All Things Me.
Pretty sweet, huh? What are you waiting for? Do it now, before your Hot Pockets finish microwaving! No need to get all fancy in your email, but do let me know your nearest metropolitan area(s) so I can send out the Bat Signal when I come through town.
2) To wit, this weekend (5/1 through 5/4) I'll be doing seven big friggin' shows at the Punchline in Atlanta. Great club, great crowds.
Come on out and experience a night of laughter and titillating awkwardness! For details and showtimes, go HERE.
Thanks, computer pals. You may now return to your porn, game of Scrabble or pornographic game of Scrabble.
Fond regards,
Christian Finnegan
Two thingies:
1) I sent out a newsletter recently. It was chock-full of good stuff--news updates, announcements and embedded clips of me on the tee-vee. Seriously, everybody's been talking about what a kick-ass newsletter it was. If you didn't receive it, that means...and I hate to just come out and say it like this, but...you are not on my mailing list. There, I said it! Oh horror of horrors! It's too terrible to imagine! Luckily, I now offer you a path to redemption. By sending a simple email HERE, you will receive a monthly update on All Things Me.
Pretty sweet, huh? What are you waiting for? Do it now, before your Hot Pockets finish microwaving! No need to get all fancy in your email, but do let me know your nearest metropolitan area(s) so I can send out the Bat Signal when I come through town.
2) To wit, this weekend (5/1 through 5/4) I'll be doing seven big friggin' shows at the Punchline in Atlanta. Great club, great crowds.
Come on out and experience a night of laughter and titillating awkwardness! For details and showtimes, go HERE.
Thanks, computer pals. You may now return to your porn, game of Scrabble or pornographic game of Scrabble.
Fond regards,
Christian Finnegan
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Political punchlines
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