On Brad & Angelina Marriage Rumours
"I'm pretty sure when Brad hooked up with Angelina he wasn’t thinking marriage. She screams, 'transitional relationship'. But with all the negative press, marrying Angelina is the only way to salvage his reputation. It's what is commonly known as 'Soon-Yi Syndrome.'"
On Jerry Seinfeld's New Baby
"Jerry Seinfeld just named his baby 'Shepherd' which is Hebrew for 'Please give me a wedgie.'"
On the topic of "Girl Crushes," Matt asked if guys can have "Boy Crushes":
"Sure I have a boy crush. I'm not going to tell you who it is but his name rhymes with Bal Broker."
On Britney's Baby:
"Britney wants to name her baby 'Charlie' while Kevin Federline wants to go with 'Meal Ticket.'"