ATTENTION: HOUSTON, FTL, DC & MINNY!!!


Hello, dear e-friends. I hope you are all enjoying the holiday season or, as it should be known, March Madness for alcoholics. This is that wonderful time of year where no one can give you crap for being in constant state of Buzz. You are not a pathetic drunk, you are festive!

But I am not writing simply to call attention to your seasonal liver abuse. I would also like a word with those of you in the following metropolitan areas:

Houston, TX
Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Washington, DC
Minneapolis, MN

These are the cities to which I will be bringing the Finnegan laugh brigade in January and February. I am looking for someone super-keen in each of these towns to hang a few posters in exchange for free tickets and a round of beverages. And maybe an awkweard hug after the show (no pelvic contact). What could be easier and more fraught with delight?

If you are interested, please contact Natalia at Ballyhoo Promotions (ns@ballyhoopromotions.net) and she will give you the low-down. Please include your age and a bit of background info. If you have done this sort of thing before, that is a plus but by no means a prerequisite. FYI, we are looking to hang posters on college campuses, at rock clubs, cafes, bookstores, etc. So if you have any good ideas, let us hear them!

Look forward to hearing from you.


Christian Finnegan,
Chestnuts currently roasting

TIVO ALERT: Christian on MSNBC’s Countdown w Keith Olbermann

My husband and funny man Christian Finnegan will be on MSNBC tonight talking to Keith Olbermann about Paris Hilton and drunken elephants. Airs tonight at 8:00 PM EST on MSNBC but Christian’s segment is on the later portion of the show. Around 8:45 PM ish.

TIVO ALERT: Christian on MSNBC’s Countdown w Keith Olbermann

My husband and funny man Christian Finnegan will be on MSNBC tonight talking to Keith Olbermann about Paris Hilton and drunken elephants. Airs tonight at 8:00 PM EST on MSNBC but Christian’s segment is on the later portion of the show. Around 8:45 PM ish.

CHRISTIAN FINNEGAN (GENTLY) ROCKS SEATTLE ON 11/20!!


Attention, denizens of the Pacific Northwest:

On Tuesday, November 20th at 8pm I will be appearing for ONE NIGHT ONLY at the the lovely Triple Door in downtown Seattle. The Triple Door is a hip groovy rock and roll venue that I will be temporarily robbing of all "indie cred" as debut headliner of 103.7 The Mountain's "5:20 Funny" comedy series. This show promises to be a blast and a bit different from the usual comedy club shows I do. I very rarely perform in the lovely Northwest, so I'd be honored if you'd grace me with your presence.

IMPORTANT: If you live in the Seattle area and would be interested in putting up a couple of posters around town in exchange for free tickets and a post-show beer, email Natalia at ns@ballyhoopromotions.net ASAP to let us know you're interested. Make sure to include your mailing address and phone number, friendy!

That's all for now. I'll probably send out a reminder the week of the show, but I'm really looking forward to this one so I wanted to plant the seed. As always, thanks for your continued support.


Christian Finnegan
The Captain of Your Heart

TELL YOUR FRIENDS
Time Out New York has called “Tell Your Friends” a DON'T MISS several times and said: "With a slew of talented stand-ups . . . and folk-rock duo 'A Brief View of the Hudson,' Liam McEneaney's show and 'workout comedy room' is sure to please."

November 12th @ 8:00 PM
Michelle Collins (Best Week Ever) hosts:



Christian Finnegan (Best Week Ever)
Brian Baumley (Stand Up NY)
Leo Allen (Premium Blend, Writer for SNL)
Tom Shillue (Comedy Central Presents)
And the house band Brief View of the Hudson


Lolita Bar
266 Broome St. at Allen
New York City, New York
212.966.7223

8:00 PM - $5.00 Cover

TIVO ALERT: Christian on MSNBC's Countdown w Keith Olberman

My husband and funny man Christian Finnegan will be on MSNBC tonight talking to Keith Olbermann about Maria Osmand and her fainting spell.

Airs Tonight at 8:00 PM EST. on MSNBC

-- Kambri

Christian was on MSNBC tonight talking to Keith Olbermann about the Ellen DeGeneres dog adoption fiasco.   Check it out:

"Dog gate" controversy continues to grow

Kambri!

Take a Finnegander:

LIVE WIRE at COMIX TOMORROW NIGHT

My lovely wife Kambri (aka "Robochick") is producing a new show that mixes music and comedy into one showcase. It debuts tomorrow night at Comix and is only $7 with no minimum if you use the code LWVIP. I'll be doing some off the wall silly shit that I never get to do at regular comedy clubs.

Anyway, here's her pitch:

Check out Live Wire -- a show that mixes music and comedy into one jamming good time. The debut features Freestyle Love Supreme Lin-Manuel Miranda (writer, star of "In the Heights"), James Monroe Iglehart ("Spelling Bee") and Chris "Shockwave" Sullivan. Also performing are Stuckey & Murray and Christian Finnegan who ditches his regular stand up act in a solo sketch you won't want to miss.

Comix will present musicians trying out anything old or new, comedians - not known for singing - performing songs and a blend of the two. As the songs states, "Anything goes!"

As part of this special series, the two item minimum will NOT apply. Instead, you pay one cover charge and if you do want food or drinks, simply order at the bar at your leisure. No pressure, just great music and plenty of laughs.

MON, SEP 17th @ 8:00 PM
Pre-show happy hour starts at 5:30
Comix
353 W. 14th Street
comixny.com 212.524.2500
Only $7 with the code LWVIP

INTERVIEW


The lovely Sara Benincasa interviewed Christian over on Nerve.com about online dating and other random stuff.

Read it here.



--Kambri

SCREW BATMAN--GOTHAM IS MINE, 9/13-16!


This one's wicked important, so let's get right down to brass tacks:

From Thursday 9/13 through Sunday 9/16 I will be headlining Gotham Comedy Club in the lovely Chelsea district of New York City. If you live in or near NYC, I'd be genuinely honored if you'd consider coming out to a show. "But Finnegan," you're saying, "You perform in New York all the time. Hell, you LIVE there." Well first of all, who the hell do you think you are calling me 'Finnegan'? But more importantly, sure I perform around town a lot but it's always doing short little bits of time in shows I can't (and often won't) vouch for. And half the time, I'm strung out on smack. This time out, I'll be completely clean! And the shows are all me--well not ALL me, but a solid 45-60 minutes of me (you can decide for yourself whether that's an enticement or a warning).

My point is, this will be my very first weekend-long headlining engagement in NYC and I'm really excited about it. Like I said, if you've ever considered coming out to see me perform, these are the shows to check out. And if you've seen me in the past and are worried it's going to be the same stuff you've heard before, know this: about 75% of the material I'll be performing is pretty much brand spankin' new.

Have I laid it out plain enough for you? Don't make me get ugly, folks. For tickets and info and what not, visit http://gothamcomedyclub.com>www.gothamcomedyclub.com.

Thank you for continuing to give a poop.

Christian Finnegan
aka The Dork Knight

Missing ME on Best Week Ever?


Fret not! Here is a bunch of clips that never made it to air for you to enjoy in the meantime:

BWE Extras: Christian Uncut!

Posted Today

BWE Panelist Christian Finnegan talks about some of his favorite subjects in pop culture. It's the Best of Christian Finnegan!

Christian Finnegan on Keith Olbermann:

Not "on" him in the literal sense, of course, but on his show. (Ba dump bump.) Check out the video here.



--Kambri

Can we stop talking about Britney soon? Please? PLLLLEEEEAASSEEEE

Christian Reveals How He Really Lost the Weight



--Kambri

CHRISTIAN IN "CURRENT MAGAZINE"

Christian is really funny in the "3 Questions With" segment in this month's Current Magazine. I especially liked his answer to the bonus question. Read it here.

--Kambri
Pluto's Plaything. Har.

Houston Awaits!


Dearest e-friends (Texans and otherwise),

This week I will be appearing at the HOUSTON LAFF STOP from Wednesday 7/11 through Saturday 11/14. Yep, Houston in the middle of July. I must be some sort of masochist. Anyway, the shows are going to be great and you will, of course, want to be there. Why? Because I'll be giving out free iPhones!* That's right, free iPhones!** I'll say it again: FREE GOSHDARN iPHONES!!***

I've always had a great time at the Laff Stop and I hope you'll come on out and support me like the soft, cotton-y emotional jockstrap I know you to be.

In case you have some sort of moral issue with hyperlinks, here are the details:

Christian Finnegan...LIVE AND AWKWARD!
Wednesday 7/11 to Saturday 7/14
The Laff Stop
526 Waugh Drive
Houston, TX 77019
Tickets: www.laffstop.com

BTW, if you're not from Houston but you're reading this because you hate your job/family, be it known that I'll be heading to the following cities in the next three months: Philadelphia, Los Angeles, Miami, New York, Grand Rapids, Chicago and Atlanta--keep your eyes peeled 'n stuff.

Humbly,
Christian Finnegan

* While supplies last
** Whoops, my supply just ran out. Sorry!!!!!!!
*** Listen, get off my ass, okay? You want an iPhone? I got your iPhone--right here! RIGHT HERE!!!!

ATTENTION, AUSTIN-ITES!

Good day, friendlies.Just a quick word let everyone in the Austin, TX area know that I'll be performing at Cap City Comedy this week, from Tuesday 6/19 through Saturday 6/23. Please come out and make me feel valid!

SPECIAL OFFER: If you are the first person to come up to me after the show and sign a few bars from the broadway musical Starlight Express, I will give you a FREE CD! And I'll sign the shit out of it!! That's right, a free signed CD if you're willing to humilate yourself for the amusement of strangers!

Anyway, these shows are going to be a blast and I hope you decide to come out. To buy tickets, go here, you lucky dog.

See you in Texas. I apologize in advance if my hands are covered with BBQ sauce during the show.

Regards,
Christian Finnegan

To watch the clip of me on "Countdown with Keith Olbermann" pontificating on the latest in the lives of Paris, Britney and K-Fed, click here.

TIVO ALERT

I'm going to be on Countdown with Keith Olberman tonight talking about (what else?) Paris Hilton and Britney Spears so tune in to MSNBC. You won't want to miss this ground breaking television event.

Also tonight, I'm at The Hollywood Improv on a show called "Comedy Juice". http://comedyjuice.com/

For FREE tickets email guestlist@comedyjuice.com.
The Improv8162 Melrose AvenueLos Angeles, CA

Christian on Bud TV's "The Joe Buck Show"

Citizens of Indianapolis and Bob & Tom Fans!

Hey there reader of Christian's blog, this is his wife Kambri writing to you since he is en route to the fair city of Indianapolis.

He'll be there all weekend performing at Crackers Comedy Club in Broad Ripple and will be on Bob & Tom tomorrow morning promoting the shows. Tune in to hear him live in studio; and, if you're in Indy, stop by Crackers to see a show. Call (317) 255-4211 for reservations.

Show Times are:

Wednesday 8:30 pm
Thursday 8:30 pm
Friday 8:00 pm (Non-Smoking) and 10:30 pm
Saturday 8:00 pm (Non-Smoking) and 10:30 pm
Sunday 8:00 pm (Non-Smoking)

Crackers at Broad Ripple is located at 6281 N. College Ave. in beautiful Broad Ripple Village. (next to the Vogue Nightclub). Call (317) 255-4211 for reservations.

HELLO, IT'S ME

So, lookie here. I know it's been a long time since I posted anything, but I've been busy as a beaver the past couple of months with the big ol' college tour thingy. We're about halfway through and things have been going swimmingly.

What? Have I been keeping a tour diary about all of our gigs? Why yes I have, and you can check it out here, at the Comedy Central site. Also, we've been doing video podcasts that you can check out here. Is it the most earth-shatteringly interesting footage ever captured on digital video? Well, perhaps not. But check it out nonetheless, especially if you like watching people stammer awkwardly.

I will try to get back to posting on a regular basis, both tour-related stuff and random attempts at chuckle-ocity. I've actually been doing a lot of writing lately, and if tonight's miserable set was any indication, my new "material" could really use a bit of e-scrutiny before I deem it fit for actual, real-life audiences.

Thanks for saving my place at the digital trough.

MORE TOUR DATES

Hello, Tower of Hubrites.

As you know, I just started up a fancy-schmancy college tour sponsored by Comedy Central. Rather than me blathering on about it (again), check out this little clip:



Kind of cool, huh? Anyway, the tour brings us to NYU tonight (1/25) and Northwestern on Saturday (1/27). If you live in NYC or Chicago, come on out to the show. I promise nothing less than excellence! Both shows are open to the public--for ticket info, check out the main tour page at comedycentral.com.

Also, to reiterate: this Friday night Comedy Central will be airing a number of short promotional spots for the tour from 8pm to 11pm, as part of their Friday Night Stand Up lineup. I dare say they're pretty funny. Here's one of them:



That's all for now. Check back here for more details.

Thank you for your continued support.

MY BIG VIACOM-APPROVED TOUR BEGINS!!

Friends, Well-Wishers and "Other":

Comedy Central, in its infinite wisdom (well, except for "That's My Bush!"), has decided to sponsor a college tour featuring yours truly. In fact, in honor of my debut cd (available in stores and online, btw) they're calling it:

COMEDY CENTRAL ON CAMPUS: CHRISTIAN FINNEGAN'S "TWO FOR FLINCHING" TOUR

Pretty sweet, no? Over the next three or so months I will be heading to 20-30 fully accredited institutions of higher learning, articulate dick jokes and ill-informed social commentary at the ready. There's so much I want to mention about the tour, but I'm having trouble organizing my thoughts. So I'm going to turn these random items of interest into thoguhtful answers to questions I'm going to pretend you've just asked me. Such as:


WHY ARE YOU BRINGING THIS UP TODAY?

Well I'm not sure I like your tone, but I'm bringing it up because the VERY FIRST SHOW of the tour takes place tonight at UMass Lowell. Also, there are huge shows later this week at NYU on Thursday 1/25 and Northwestern on Saturday, 1/27. Dates are still being added, so make sure to check back with the main tour page every once in a while..

HOW DO I KNOW YOU'RE TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT THIS SO-CALLED TOUR?

Thanks for asking. Starting this week, Comedy Central will be airing a couple of kick-arse commercials. Want to see one? Your wish is my command.

IS THAT IT?

Not even close. This Friday 1/26 from 7pm to 11pm, Comedy Central will also be aring a bunch of short interstitial clips we shot, as part of their "Friday Night Stand-Up" lineup, from 8pm to 11pm. As a teaser, here's one of the spots we shot: a cautionary tale about the dreaded Dorm Wanderer. I'll be including more of these clips on the site over the next couple of months, but try and tune in Friday so you can see them all in their true TV glory.

WILL THERE BE OTHER COMEDIANS ON THE BILL?

I'm not good enough for you? Well then, you're in luck. Among the comics scheduled to appear at one point or another: Zach Galifanakis, Charlie Murphy, Greg Giraldo, Tracey Morgan, Nick Swardson, Nick Thune, Jesse Joyce, Nick Kroll, Joe DeRosa, Andres DuBouchet, Eric O'Shea and more!

CAN REGULAR FOLKS LIKE ME ATTEND THIS SUREFIRE COMEDY EXTRAVAGANZA?

Um, I can't tell whether or not you're being sarcastic so I'll take your question at face value. While some tour dates do appear to be "students only", others are indeed open to the general public. For specific ticket info, head back over to the main tour page.

ANYTHING UNUSUAL ABOUT THESE SHOWS? YOU KNOW, 'QUIRKY'?

Funny you mention it. Every show on the Two For Flinching tour will culminate in two students locking horns in fierce intellectual combat, live on stage. At stake? Lots of fun prizes and...THE COMEDY CENTRAL FOURTEEN DOLLAR SCHOLARSHIP! That's right, I will be awarding fourteen American dollars to one lucky student at each school, helping make his or her career dreams become a reality. No, don't thank me--charity is its own reward. Think you have the brains, charm and poise to score this once-in-a-lifetime prize? Come out to a show and make sure you fill out an entry card.

WILL THERE BE WACKY BEHIND-THE-SCENES FOOTAGE? BECAUSE I LOVE WACKY BEHIND-THE-SCENES FOOTAGE!

I'm quite sure you do. Yes, we will be shooting some footage whilst out on "the road", but I cannot promise it will be wacky. I am aiming for "amusing" and "worth blowing off five minutes of porn for", though. More to come on this.

WILL YOU BE BLOGGING ON THE ROAD?

Dammit, haven't I told you a million times I can't stand it when you use the word "blog" as a verb? Please, try and avoid that. But I will writing wrap-ups of each and every tour date and, yes, I will be posting said wrap-ups on this blog under the heading, "THE TWO FOR FLINCHING TOUR DIARIES". This sojourn is not exactly what you might think of as a "tour", in that we won't be living on a bus for long stretches of time, a la Motley Crue. The Two For Flinching dates are spread out over a few months, so I'll be out on the road for a few days, back home for a while, out again for a couple of days, etc. So on the days I'm "touring", I'll be posting the tour diaries--the show wraps-ups will appear a day or two after each gig and will no doubt include lots of dispraging remarks about whatever part of the country I happen to be in at that moment. Otherwise, it will just be the random e-nonsense you've come to tolerate from me.


I suppose that's enough for now. If you come back to this site on a regular basis (and if you don't, you really should), you'll be hearing lots more about this. Thanks for your continued support. You are, each and every one of you, my hero.

RANDOM MUSING THURSDAY:
HALF-ASSED CHALLENGE OF THE DAY!

Your challenge: At some point today, try slipping the word 'merriment' in conversation without being looked at like a weirdo. The only rule is, you must use the word in the proper context, and with complete sincerity--no air quotes or ironic eyebrow raising.

This has been your Half-Assed Challenge of the Day.

SELF-ANALYSIS MONDAY:
SELF-PIMPING AIN'T EASY

Okay, here's the deal: Comedy Central is once again running it's "Stand-Up Showdown". This is where CC pits comedians against eachother to see who...well, who's fans have the most amount of free time to sit in front of the computer and click "VOTE FOR ME". If you were reading this site last year, you'll remember I flogged this competition rather tirelessly. I'm not going to do that this year, mostly because I found the whole "scrounging for votes" thing a tad undignified. Oh yeah, and I'm incredibly lazy. But I will probably mention it a couple of times over the next few weeks, starting right now.

So if you're so inclined, please do put in a vote for me by clicking below. Remember, every time you vote for me, a Malaysian sweatshop worker gets a pack of SnackWell cookies. You wouldn't want to deprive a young boy of his SnackWell cookies, would you?

RANDOM MUSING THURSDAY:
HOW TO BE A GOOD TOURIST IN NYC

So the holiday tourist season is officially over and I feel like I have to take a moment to apologize to all of the Midwestern housewives, Arizona fratboys and acidwash-clad Europeans who were jostled, bumped and otherwise abused by us 'rude New Yorkers' over the past month or so. It is true--we can be a tad abrupt in this city. But I ask you to consider this: many of us are very busy and you guys do tend to get in the way a bit.

You have to understand, New York was planned very poorly. For some reason, the two most scenic neighborhoods in Manhattan (Times Square and Rockefeller Plaza) happen to be littered with high-rise office buildings. So the people who 'rudely' bump into your church group as you try to decide between Planet Hollywood and the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. are not just scurrying along to piss you off--they're trying to get to work. Imagine if you went to work one day, only to find they'd opened a petting zoo in your office. Would you keep an even temper if everytime you went to the fax amchine, there was some fat little kid in the way hand-feeding a llama? Sure it might be cute at first, but by Day Nine you'd be ready to take a life.

This is not a hopeless situation. We can all share this beautiful city--natives, transplants (like me) and visitors alike. I would only ask you to obey the laws of traffic. Remember, New York is a pedestrian city. Think of the subways as interstates and avenues (like Broadway) and cross-streets (like 42nd st.) as highways. If you really want to stop and marvel at the sights of Times Square ("Ooo, a really big Toys R Us!!"), pull over. Imagine if, as you were on your morning commute, some asshole stopped his car dead in the middle of the highway so he could admire an overpass ("Hey, lookie here--Rob loves Gina!"). You'd be a bit peeved, would you not? Perhaps you might even seem a little bit...rude?

Look, I'm not saying New Yorkers can't be dicks--we/they are huge assholes in a number of ways. But the next time someone "accidently" shoulder checks you outside of the Today Show or scowls as you jockey to have your picture taken with the Naked Cowboy (New Yorkers loathe that fuckwad, by the way), don't assume we're just determined to kill your buzz. There's a good chance we're just trying to get through the day without strangling a Missouri housewife with her fannypack strap.

I guess this is the kid of shit that makes the rest of the country hate all of us 'coastal elites', eh?

WEDNESDAY IS LIST DAY
NEW YEARS' RESOLUTIONS OF THE RANDOM AND NOTEWORTHY

To welcome in 2007, let's take a look at the New Year's resolutions of some of my personal friends, such as:


SOON-TO-BE-TRADED YANKEES PITCHER RANDY JOHNSON

1) Steal money from homeless person
2) Punch baby in face
3) Re-grow kick ass mullet



RECORDING SENSATION AND PEE FETISH ICON FERGIE

1) Remember to always tinkle before heading to the stage
2) Find ways to plaster face with even more makeup
3) Enjoy seven remaining minutes



INTERNATIONAL MEGASTAR JACKEE

1) Inject even more sass into everyday interactons
2) Upload "227" clips onto YouTube
3) Contact Rodney about "Ladybugs" sequel



FORMER GENERAL ELECTRIC CEO JACK WLECH

1) Apply "Welch's Rules" to illegal cockfighting industry
2) Spend more time with Jermaine Jackson
3) Schedule ten minutes a day to tuck penis between legs and stand in front of mirror



IRAQI CLERIC MOQTADA AL SADR

1) Stop making excuses and get sock puppet business off ground
2) Get abs totally ripped in time for Ramadan
3) Conquer "GTA: San Andreas" side missions without using cheat codes



MOVIE STAR SISTERS DAKOTA AND ELLE FANNING

1) Poison neighbor's dog, blame it on Asian kid down street
2) Arrange joint interview on Access Hollywood, reveal Holocaust as hoax
3) Enact "Operation Viper"